Picture this familiar scene – You are in a meeting. Updates are being shared, the agenda is being ticked off and people are nodding along. On the surface, everything is working as it should. A successful meeting, right? But something doesn’t feel accomplished, the mood doesn’t feel authentic and there’s a sense that more could have been said. Maybe that’s ideas that have stayed unspoken or questions people feel uncomfortable to ask. On paper, it was productive, but something felt disconnected.
At Human Brilliance, this is something we hear often when speaking with leaders and organisations. The KPIs are being reached, the work is getting done and yet something feels ‘off’ in the teams delivering it. There’s a disconnect between what is being achieved and how that experience shows up day to day.
Employers are often focused on what is being produced in the time people spend at work, rather than how that time is actually experienced and shared between people. The how and why requires more than output data to analyse. It requires us to understand something more human, how people use time when they are with others.
In many organisations, culture is talked about in terms of values, behaviours or through engagement scores. But culture is often experienced much more simply than that. It shows up in the everyday moments, it’s “how things are done around here”, how teams communicate and how time is actually spent together. There’s often more going on beneath the surface of team interactions than what’s visible and it tends to reveal itself in how time is structured.
In Transactional Analysis (TA), developed by Eric Berne, there’s a concept known as time structuring. It describes the different ways people organise time when they are with others. At a human level, these patterns help us meet our basic fundamental needs for structure, recognition, belonging and connection.
In organisational settings, this becomes something more. As individuals we all have our way of engaging with time, but in an organisation, this can be influenced and how teams spend time together may align or misalign with each other. Which can cause challenges in team dynamics and impact performance.
These patterns don’t just reflect individual behaviour; they reflect the relational culture people are operating within. Over time they can actually shape what feels possible in a team, including what gets said, what gets avoided and how people show up.
One way to visualise this is through a “culture clock” (see diagram), which draws on the time structuring model to map how teams spend time together, from withdrawal and rituals through to activity, games, and intimacy. Rather than fixed stages, these are patterns that teams move between, often without awareness. As the level of intimacy increases, so too does the potential vulnerability and the risk that underlying needs may go unmet. For example, if a team primarily withdraws or engages in rituals only, it’s unlikely there will be much room for relational connection.
When we begin to see time in this way, we start to understand that how a team spends its time is not just about productivity, but it really is about how people are relating while the work is happening.
When the room goes quiet.
In TA, withdrawal refers to spending time physically present but psychologically or emotionally disengaged. In teams, this might look like low participation, cameras off, or people not engaging with their work. It’s often labelled as lack of motivation, but more often than not, it’s about protection. People don’t just disengage, they decide it’s safer not to engage or don’t think their voice matters. If teams are consistently withdrawing, it’s crucial to consider what is contributing to the low levels of psychological safety.
Supporting withdrawal is less about increasing participation and more about increasing feelings of belonging and safety. This might mean slowing the pace of conversations, using smaller groups and acknowledging the quiet without pressure. When leaders model openness and make it clear that all contributions are welcome, people are more likely to gradually re-engage.
Predictable and surface-level.
Rituals are structured, socially agreed ways of interacting where responses are largely predictable. Most teams rely on them in the form of check-ins, agendas, and familiar meeting formats. They provide structure and can create a sense of safety and shared rhythm within a team. However, over time they can become automatic, with people going through the motions rather than engaging meaningfully.
Questions may be asked without space for a real response and interactions can feel more like performance than connection. Culturally, this can suggest that in organisations where most of the time is spent in rituals, the consistency is valued but authenticity is limited. Rituals are not something to remove, but something to use more intentionally. Small changes in how questions are asked, or allowing more space for responses, can help bring them back to life. Leaders can model more genuine engagement by responding to what is shared, rather than moving quickly on. Occasionally adapting the structure or inviting the team to shape it can help maintain both stability and authenticity.
Friendly but careful.
Pastimes are safe, socially acceptable conversations that allow people to connect without moving into more vulnerable territory. This is where many teams feel comfortable, with light chat (often involving the weather), humour and shared interests. There is nothing wrong with pastiming, connection often happens in this space, but it’s ‘careful’. Teams can feel close, right up to the point where something more meaningful needs to be said and then it may be a challenge. They may avoid conversations that involve challenge, difference or even emotional depth. As a result, important issues can remain unspoken and creativity can be stifled.
Pastimes are an important part of team life and should be valued rather than dismissed. Supporting this involves gently extending conversations when the opportunity arises. This might include inviting reflection, asking about what is going well and what is challenging, or creating space for more meaningful dialogue. Over time, this can help teams move from surface-level connection into more open and productive conversations.
Activities
Getting the job done.
Activities are task-focused interactions where people work together toward shared goals. This is where most organisations spend the majority of their time, in the planning, delivering and problem solving. It’s an essential part of a successful organisation. But when a team’s energy stays here almost exclusively, something can get lost. It’s possible to be highly productive and ‘doing things’ but still feel disconnected or that it lacks meaning. Productivity can sometimes protect teams from having more complex conversations. This often reflects workplaces where doing is prioritised and reflecting is optional or not seen as a good use of time.
Supporting activity involves creating balance between doing and reflecting. This might include building in short pauses to consider how the team is working together, not just what is being achieved. Simple questions about collaboration, communication, and shared experience can help bring the relational aspect back into focus. Recognising not only results but also how those results were achieved can reinforce the importance of working well together.
When patterns keep repeating.
Psychological games are repetitive patterns of interaction with hidden agendas, where needs (often for recognition) are expressed indirectly. It’s important to acknowledge that this is almost always done out of awareness and operates with our unconscious processes. In teams, this can show up as recurring tensions, conversations that go round in circles, or indirect communication. It’s common for teams who engage with psychological games to feel “stuck”. In the workplace, this can suggest low trust, unclear expectations or difficulty navigating conflict.
The starting point to supporting teams with games is awareness. Naming patterns in a calm and curious way can help bring them into the open without creating defensiveness. Supporting teams to communicate more directly, clarify expectations and express needs clearly can reduce the likelihood of these patterns continuing. Focusing on impact rather than fault. This can aid creating a culture where difficult conversations are supported rather than avoided, which helps to shift team dynamics over time.
Real and authentic connection.
In TA terms, intimacy refers to open, honest, and authentic interaction without a hidden or ulterior agendas. Intimacy in organisations shows up as meaningful and respectful interaction. People are able to share feedback, express different perspectives, and engage in constructive challenges. There is a sense that individuals can be themselves while also being accountable to others. This does not mean that conversations are always easy, but that there is enough trust to navigate them. When this is present, teams are often more resilient, adaptable and successful at working through operational and relational challenges together.
Intimacy is supported through consistent modelling and practice. When leaders communicate openly, respond thoughtfully, and are willing to acknowledge their own impact, it creates a strong foundation for others to do the same. Creating space for feedback, reflection, and repair helps maintain this level of connection. Over time, this builds a culture where honesty and care can coexist, and where people feel able to contribute fully. Intimacy is the key to psychological safety and accountability.
These ways of structuring time aren’t good or bad in themselves. All of them have a place and we will each, and collectively, spend our time weaving throughout them. Withdrawal can help create space.Rituals can provide structure. Pastimes can build rapport. Activity gets things done. It’s the patterns over time that provide the meaning as workplace culture is not shaped by our intentions, but by what keeps getting repeated. No single interaction can define a team, but consistent patterns can and do reflect how teams collectively manage recognition, closeness, and structure.
When teams begin to recognise their patterns, they create more choice in how they work together. With more choice comes the possibility of doing things differently. Sometimes, improving how a team works is not about doing more. It is about relating differently in the time you already have. The way teams spend time together identifies how people feel, how they contribute and how they connect. Over time, those experiences can become culture. At Human Brilliance, we support leaders and teams to notice these patterns, make sense of what is happening beneath the surface, and create the conditions for more open, connected, and effective ways of working.
Real and authentic connection.
A useful starting point for teams might be to ask:
References
Berne, E. (1961). Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy
Berne, E. (1964). Games People Play
